1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
