A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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