Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
