Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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