We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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