He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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