Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
