Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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