the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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