She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
