im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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