As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
