This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
