My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
