Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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