two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
