It's Friday. Sex?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
