How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
