Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i believe in u and ur pee
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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