i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
