butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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