There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she peed on how many people?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
