I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
cat food counts as protein by the way
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
