we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
