Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
