She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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