Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
