We're facebook friends in real life
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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