i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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