After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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