I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
where am i from again
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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