Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
