I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize