Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
