I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
