Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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