the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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