my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
