I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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