Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my being single is dangerous.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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