Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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