craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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