So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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