The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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