even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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