You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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