it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
