Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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