the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
