all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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