hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
