Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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