She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize