I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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