he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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