Buhtt sex?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my poor anus
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
