He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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