She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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