Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
