She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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