Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
