I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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