In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize