Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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