He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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