the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
