go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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