did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
