So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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