I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
