The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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