john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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