dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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