every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize