i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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