i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
