I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
