I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
