Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
