I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize