careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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