He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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