pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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