I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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