We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need moral support for this bender
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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