She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
